Poor Harry Stonecipher. He lost his job as CEO of Boeing and his marriage in the same week, both presumably for the same reason: he was said to be having an affair with a female employee of the company. Whether a person should lose the first two for indulging in the third is a conundrum which I leave to my betters.
The theory which I wish to propound is homely enough: I have come to believe from observing at close hand the vagaries of the human condition that many associations tarred as “affairs” are in reality teasing flirtations that fall well short of consummation. As celebrated in the song “Something To Talk About” by Bonnie Raitt, many office rumors are the cause rather than the result of real liaisons. Often the not-so-guilty parties have been playing along with the speculation as a form of macho strutting or coquettish role-playing and later find it hard to deny accusations of substantive misconduct.
Indeed if anyone here has suffered in real ways as the result of an affair that was imputed and reputed by folks but disputed by the facts, I would be grateful indeed if you could comment. If this is too public a forum, let me know and perhaps we can communicate by e-mail.
In any case, the best policy is to follow the Talmud’s advice (and Billy Graham’s famed practice) and avoid being behind a locked door with someone whom others might take to be your paramour. Otherwise, you might pass up the temptation and still be the target of pernicious gossip.